1001 Rules for Being a Man

Let’s break down the wildly popular tune “What Makes You Beautiful” from One Direction.

Because it needs to be broken down. And understood. Because it’s problematic.

“What Makes You Beautiful”

You’re insecure,

Don’t know what for,

You’re turning heads when you walk through the door,

Don’t need make-up,

To cover up,

Being the way that you are is enough,

—-“I don’t understand why you’re insecure. Because I don’t understand your feelings, they must be irrelevant or wrong. Because you’re validated by others, you should feel worthy. You are unqualified to know your own worth, and your actions show it.”

Everyone else in the room can see it,

Everyone else but you,

—-More “you are the person who knows yourself the least.”

[Chorus]

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,

But when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell,

You don’t know,

Oh oh,

You don’t know you’re beautiful,

—-“Because you are physically attractive to me, your feelings about yourself are wrong. Also, because you’re shy, which is a hegemonic submissive and feminine trait, you’re beautiful because of that, too. And clearly you just don’t get it, so allow me to continue to tell you how wrong you are.”

If only you saw what I can see,

You’ll understand why I want you so desperately,

Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe,

You don’t know,

Oh oh,

You don’t know you’re beautiful,

Oh oh,

That’s what makes you beautiful

—-“So you’re beautiful, but you’re not allowed to just be beautiful. You’re beautiful AND I want you so desperately. Because your beauty is the determining factor in that. I still don’t understand why you don’t see yourself the way I do, so I’m going to continue to assume that you’re wrong and I’m right because I’m a man, and that’s just kind of what we do.”

So c-come on,

You got it wrong,

To prove I’m right,

I put it in a song,

I don’t know why,

You’re being shy,

And turn away when I look into your eye eye eyes,

—-“Now I’m going to just come right out and say that you’re wrong. Subtle hinting is clearly not enough. And because I put it in a song, it must be right. I still don’t know why you’re being shy, so I assume that your feelings are invalid. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m a potential threat to you and you’ve been taught your entire life to be wary of me. Why won’t you let me stare creepily into your eyes?”

Everyone else in the room can see it,

Everyone else but you,

—-“Seriously, you just don’t get it.”

[Chorus]

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,

But when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell,

You don’t know,

Oh oh,

You don’t know you’re beautiful,

—-See chorus above

If only you saw what I can see,

You’ll understand why I want you so desperately,

Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe,

You don’t know,

Oh oh,

You don’t know you’re beautiful,

Oh oh,

That’s what makes you beautiful

—-See chorus above

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na

Na Na Na Na Na Na [x2]

—-This part’s okay.

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,

But when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell,

—-See above

You don’t know,

Oh oh,

You don’t know you’re beautiful,

—-See above

[Chorus]

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,

But when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell,

You don’t know,

Oh oh,

You don’t know you’re beautiful

—-See above

If only you saw what I can see,

You’ll understand why I want you so desperately,

Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe,

You don’t know,

Oh oh,

You don’t know you’re beautiful,

Oh oh,

You don’t know you’re beautiful,

Oh oh,

That’s what makes you beautiful

—-See above

So uh…basically this entire song is about how women aren’t qualified to know how they should feel, especially about themselves. They need male validation, and once they have it, it’s all that should matter. Additionally, it doesn’t matter if they’re really smart, or funny, or creative. As long as when they flip their hair it gets guys overwhelmed and they’re really shy so they don’t look people in the eye or look up from the ground. Because confidence isn’t beautiful, apparently.

Can we just agree that this song should probably never be played again?

This post goes out to every other person working to end any form of violence, oppression, or injustice worldwide.

I am really thankful that there are people out their fighting their fights.

Whenever people ask me why I talk mostly about masculinity and men’s violence against women, I always have to explain, in a very roundabout and detailed way, that those are my fights. I’m choosing to work against unhealthy masculinity and men’s violence because it’s where I feel that I can be most effective and most helpful. If I tried to do everything, I’d end up doing nothing well, and I’d be next to useless for everyone.

So that’s why I’m glad for people who work on issues of marriage equality, trans* rights (and trans* visibility, for that matter), the media war, and countless other fields in which violence and oppression are being fought against on a daily basis.

I want to give thanks to all of you for doing what you do and being awesome. You’re all incredible.

If anyone reading this ever wants to do a guest post, etc, anything, please hit me up. I’d be glad to feature it.

Until next time, keep on winning.

-JRok

lord-kitschener:

mr-owls:

Radfems aren’t fighting patriarchy. They are so infected by it they can’t even see how they perpetuate it. “Radical feminism” is the best tool patriarchy has; it makes feminism look distasteful and extremist to people who don’t know what real feminism is, while violently enforcing the gender binary and trashing women for their choices.

You didn’t hear it from me…

(Source: ileolai, via bmoburns)

thelittlekneesofbees:

if you’re a straight male and follow me, god bless your tolerance.

fuck your tolerance, you better be learning something.

I <3 this exchange.

(Source: watchog, via bmoburns)